Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I believe in your delicious
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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