Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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