i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
