Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
