I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
