whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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