I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
