Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
