You work out of a Hotel?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The air was thick with penises
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
