you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
what is it with giant penises always finding me
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
