I just saw a hot homeless man
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
ok first of all what the fuck
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
