i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
