I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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