I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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