Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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