i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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