the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
