He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
