I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
