You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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