Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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