I need help removing her.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
