So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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