lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I think I just sharted jello shots
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