a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We have so much sex to catch up on
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
