Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
