Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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