You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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