Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
