That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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