How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
