Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
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