Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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