Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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