and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
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You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
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He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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