So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
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I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
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Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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