hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
no you cant smoke seaweed
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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