Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
