i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
porn star boner night. come get it.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
