I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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