i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize