bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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