I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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