remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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