Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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