He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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