Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
