My liver just broke up with me...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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