margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
