Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
