Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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