I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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