Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
