Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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