and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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