There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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