He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You left your underwear on the fireplace
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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