Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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