Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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