Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
