why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize