Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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