those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize