May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
